The Iconoclast
Friday, 3 July 2009
The BBQ Season
 
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.  When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: 
Routine...   
(1)   The woman buys the food.   
(2)   The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.   
(3)   The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.   
(4)   The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.  
Here comes the important part:   
(5)   THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.   
More routine...   
(6)   The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.   
(7)   The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat   
Important again:   
(8)   THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.  
More routine...   
(9)   The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.   
(10)   After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 
And most important of all:   
(11)   Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.   
(12)   The man asks the woman how she enjoyed“her night off”, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
Posted on 07/03/2009 5:16 PM by Rebecca Bynum
Comments
3 Jul 2009
Mary Jackson

Very true, even of men who are normally good cooks.

There's something about the barbie that brings out the Australian/caveman in them.



3 Jul 2009
Send an emailArtemis

I can't speak for men everywhere, but this is what happens at Chez Artemis:

- The man makes bread dough from scratch, and sets it to rise.
- The man takes the children to the grocery store and buys the meat etc.
- The man makes the dessert (with lemons from the tree that he planted in the backyard) and the salad (with lettuce from the garden that he planted and maintains)
- The man bakes the bread
- The man cooks the meat on the grill
- The man brings in the prepared meat, sets the table, dishes up the food on the plates, places the plates on the table, warms cups of milk for the children, tries to round every one up and get them to please, please sit down at the table to eat
- After the meal, the man places whatever dishes are possible in the dishwasher after rinsing, and hand-washes the rest
- The woman notices that the man left drips of water on the lip of the sink while washing dishes, and makes that the one comment on the evening

Well, anyways, that is our routine.  Everyone is different, I guess.



4 Jul 2009
Mary Jackson

Right, that clinches it - party time at your place.

Here come the girls.



4 Jul 2009
Send an emailArtemis

The man is no longer, to the extent that he ever was, affected by little black dresses, 5 inch heels, and whatever else those lyrics mentioned.

You and yours, of course, are welcome if you ever find yourself in sunny California.



4 Jul 2009
reactionry
You Look A Little Pale, Nhu?
Or: Nguyening The Hearts & Minds
Or: Andy Panda Schmetter Ling-Ling*
Or Post-Träume-Stress Syndrome?
Or: Crappy Diem Puns
Or: Bigger Monk Fish To Fry?
Or: The Sound Of One Han** Clapping 
 
 Like Thieu, I too, liked to barbecue, but I was raked over the coals for saying that I "would clap hands at seeing another monk barbecue show."  I've been meaning to ask some Muslim souls whether it is haram to grill an animal after having carnal knowledge of it, but they seem to be in a ngo area.
 
- Madame Dragon Lady
( not "Madame 'Lepidoptera' Diem" )
 
 
*  "Back in 'Nam I once got so wasted on Thai Sticks that I saw something like that in an Ungeziefer  Schreckgespenst Nachtmahr. It was right out of Tropic Thunder, Man."
- Beetle Bailey
 **  See assertions that many in the elites of Vietnamese society are of Chinese ancestry